I have been suffering from 'shy bladder' since I was very young. I find it really difficult especially when I'm in work as I'm always watching people going in and out of the toilet to ensure that it's empty when I need to go. I don't understand why I have it and there isn't really anything that works to help,my friends think its funny as they don't understand what the big deal is, but it's not a laughing matter to me.

I suffered from this problem for three and half years and i can safely say that nobody can fully understand just how devestating it is, unless you've suffered from it yourself. I used to turned my friends down constantley because I knew that if I went out, i would need the toilet sooner or later. At school I used to have to beg them to put on the handryer and even then i still couldn't go. It actually used to make me cry and my Mum would just tell me i was being stupid. But now i have found my own way of controlling it. It's wierd, but I make up sums to do in my head! It really does work for me because it takes my mind completey away from my fears and then i can just urinate without even worrying! Yes, i know it sounds really odd but i promise it worked (and still works) for me. Good luck, x

im 24 ive got this problem dont know if its right for a woman to have a hairy bum and bk of legs and ive had it for a few ears now and i find it hard doing stuff it gets me down so much.what can i do about it

Hey i am 16

i may, or may not have this problem. i NEVER pee using the urinals, i always use the cubicles as i am embaressed i think, about penis size, i dont know?

but i am worried that i have social anxeity disorder; i get anxeous of tiny things and i over analyse social situations. i researched it on wikipedia and about 70%-80% of the symptoms listed i suffer from. liek at school if i am asked to read a page from a book my legs start to shake and i get cold sweats, i guess i have had it for 3 years or so: before then i didnt get so nervous and i was confident.

it has got stronger and paradoxicly i cant go to my GP becasue of it; i am too nervous to go and i worry what he may think of me, if he tells my mum, if i am reffered to a psycologist then what may they think of me. its not paranoia, yes i worry about what peopel think of me, but that is just becasue their judgement of me is VERY real to me, even if i dont know them.

socail anxeity is the only thing i can put it down to, but whatever it is i have it is stopping me from enjoying life and whenever i see some-one confident i wish that i coudl be like them.

if you coudl reply to this anf give me advise then you may change my life.

thankyou

Well Rich, you have put me off going to the Doctor. I think you have to be a sufferer to realise just how debliating this can be and it seems that I am better off than others. Very dissaponinted that there is no established route for cure.

You should hear some of the excuses that I have made up whilst i have been out to either wait for cubicles, or leave places altogether just to pee outside in some alley etc( though I doubt the police would be very understanding were they to catch me urinating in the open). Every night out has to be considered and planned as to where you can go which often will lead to simply not going out.

Im sure my mates think I am on cocaine or doing something in the toilets, the amount of people asking me to score when i leave a cubicle and of course cubicles in pubs and clubs are also not the most pleasant places to be, seldom have locks and are usually covered in vomit and god knows what else.

I do try and desensitise the problem and i am beter than i used to be in that urinals in a quiet toilet would be fine and locked cubicles also fine. busy toilets are simply a no go.

I still however hate this, I hate the fact that is forces me to be a social parriah. I hate that this has so much control on me on a sub concious level when conciously I have abslutely no qualms in my body or attitude. I have no fears of nakedness, no feeling of insecurity.

As someone says, if you could change one thing this would be it. It seems so stupid but it is so real and impacts so much. If anyone has had hypnotherapy and been successful or something like that then if they could feed this back as i live in hope for a cure.

I have suffered with ths problem for a few years. I cannot pee in public at all. I can only pee in my house when only I am alone. It is ruining my social life as I haven't been out for over 4 years. I am only 23. I cant go on holiday cause on the flights and the fear of not being able to urinate when I get there. I need help! Dont know what to do.

I have suffered with this since i was 14, sometimes if i start and another guy comes i can continue to pee, but in instance where i cannot go in a cubicle (during busy times etc) i have to continue to burst, do i need help, is there a cure..

I have had this problem for over 40 years ever since I was a teenager at school. I did see a Clinical Psychologist with the problem and he did help to some degree but did not cure it. It does impact greatly on your life in many ways, work and social life where there are communal toilet facilities. It is comforting to know that it is not that uncommon, as I thought perhaps I was the only person that suffered. I have found that stress has always made it more difficult to relax and therefore pee and that stupid comments from people saying "you've been a long time, what have you been doing?" really humiliate me, you can't explain the problem because those sort of people cannot understand it is a problem and yet look to you for sympathy over their trivial issues!!!!
I have learned to live my life around the problem and I have a very understanding wife that is supportive. It is difficult to confide in people but with those I have (very few) they have been understanding and this makes me feel better.
Perhaps we should start a club or support group talking about it with others that suffer from it would be good.

I have this same problem and before I had this problem, I avoided public bathrooms all together. Then I went to college and because of the longer hours, I had to use one and realised I couldn't urinate. This so far has destroyed a lot of my social life, because of the shame of the problem.

I don't think people take the problem seriously enough. It's not so much the problem itself, it's more how it hinders your existence and your choices in life. It takes a lot of perseverence to cope with a problem like this and not sink into depression.

I'm not doing to badley, I've had occasions were I can urinate ok. Usually when pubs aren't to crowded, or I'm drunk. But I've also had times were I have only been able to urinate a bit and then and had leakage :/ I'm getting better, but it's hard trying to find a job, with this problem looming over you. The social aspect is the worst though, I find it harder to talk to people and you need friends to support you in life.

I have this condition, and for any other sufferers I recommend the book "Shy Bladder Syndrome: Your Step-by-step Guide to Overcoming Paruresis", its a brilliant book and available on amazon so you can buy confidentially.

Im an 18 year old guy, and only attempted using a urinal for the first time 3 months ago. For me Ive narrowed down the causes of my condition:
1. Being raised by a single mother I was taken ito women's toilets up till about age 7-8 (this conditioned me into using cubicles)
2. I was bullied badly in the toilets in high school, so my body naturally puts me on guard (locks up and goes defensive) in bathroom situations.

Its a slow and painful process overcoming it, and try and get counselling if you can. I think i havent improved much but ive gone from having trouble peeing in a locked cubicle if others are around to being able to use a urinal in an empty bathroom.

It does effect me badly though. Im nearly 19 and at uni, never been to a club or bar (even during freshers) because im scared of toilet overcrowding (some pubs and restaurants ive been to only have urinals in the mens, which is bad enough). I should be out there enjoying myself, i feel Ive wasted half my life already.

Good luck though guys (and girls)