Conditions
Vaginismus
Vaginismus is a psychological condition that manifests itself physically, when the muscles around the vagina contract and spasm against a woman’s will. This usually occurs in response to the vagina or vulva being touched. But it can also happen during the attempted insertion of the penis into the vagina during sexual intercourse, which can be quite painful. Many vaginismus sufferers and their partners describe attempting penetrative sex as like “hitting a brick wall”. It’s these difficulties, which can disrupt a couple’s sex life and often lead to the cessation of any penetrative sexual activity, which can create relationship problems. However, it is untrue that women with this condition do not like or want sex, because many sufferers continue to enjoy non-penetrative intimacy. There are many different causes of this condition, although the reason depends on the individual person. Treatment will ultimately depend on whether the root cause can be identified.
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why is it when i try and have sex it is impossible for me to enjoy because it is so painful? this has been going on for round about 5 years now i have been to my gp they sent me for key hole surgry but could not find any thing every time i go back now they just turn me away saying theres nothing els we can do.
Hi Leah. I have been having alot of pain in my hips, and pain on intercourse for the last 3 and a half years. I had an xray on my hips, and was told nothing was wrong and that I needed to do more excercise. It turns out that i had pelvic inflammatory disease (P.I.D), which was what was hurting me internally aswell. I was given a 9 week course of anti-biotics to kill this, but was then left with edometriosis, which was diagnosed by key hole surgery (a camera put inside me). I have been told that there is no cure for this, and the only way for me to stop the pain is to take a hormonal pill ('the pill'). I have also been told that due to the endometriosis, my right fallopian tube is completely blocked, and my left one isnt much better. So there for, lowers my chance of having children, and highers my chance of an ectopic pregnancy. Im only 22 years old!!! My advice to you, is to keep going back to the doctors, and ask to see another gyno. I wish I had sorted my problem out before, because maybe my body wouldnt be in the state it is in now!!! Dont let them fob you off. If you are experiencing pain, then its not right. I have learnt that you should never experience pain during intercourse!!!! Ask them if it could be something like P.I.D? Good luck, and I hope you get it sorted! Tina.
I'm 20 and have been with my boyfriend for about 18 months now. I hadn't had sex before we started going out, and wasn't able to insert anything - not a tampon, finger, nothing. That gradually improved as I learnt to relax more, but sex still wasn't happening - I'd end up bleeding and crying with pain whenever we tried. I went to a GUM clinic, but the Dr wasn't very helpful - she gave me a dilator-type instrument which I have been practising with, but never mentioned "vaginismus", just said I'd get used to sex eventually. I have improved somewhat now, and me and my boyfriend have technically managed to have sex twice (although it was quite painful), but the last time was a couple of months ago and I seem to have tensed up again since. It's extremely painful, and has had quite an impact on me emotionally, but we still have a good sex life without penetration - it's not a case of me not enjoying being intimate or wanting sex - quite the opposite, which is why it's so frustrating! I haven't been diagnosed but I guess it sounds like I have vaginismus. It feels so frustrating when my friends talk about their stress-free sex-lives, so it's a relief to hear that I'm not alone with this. Don't give up - I am making progress, so it is possible!
I cant believe what im reading I thought i was the only one who had this problem!I felt like a freak I have been married for nearly 3 years and we have not had sex for all the time we have been married plus a long time b4 we did get married my husband is great but i feel like im a rubbish wife.We have had sex when we started going out but i had a trauma the first time we had sex and i think that has made me scared it would hapen again so now i just tense up and we have to give up its so frustrating as we are ready to have a baby but i feel like we will never be able to have one,it feels like everyone around me are having babies and i feel presure from friends and family that they are thinking we should be having a baby by now but i cant tell anyone about this,i have been ignoring the problem and thinking that when we decided to have a baby it would go away but it hasn't.I think it's time to go to the doctors although that doesn't sound like its going to be easy ready other comments but ill give it a go!Just wanted to say thank you to everyone else for posting comments they helped me to see im not alone!Sorry for the long post but it seems to help to vent! Thanks for listening/reading.
Hi there, I added a comment previously saying how I had lost too much confidence to go back to a Doctor to sort my condition - I took courage from all of your comments and booked an appointment - I saw a different GP today and basically broke down - she was horrified that no one has taken me seriously and that for 5 years now I have gone untreated - she is now in the process of referring me to a psycho-sexual therapist who will help me, don't give up even if it's embarrasing - 4 GP's and 5 years later and I'm finally being taken seriously. I may post a few more comments with updates on how I'm doing in the hope that it will encourage other women to seek help with this.
I actually laughed with relief when I read this, big thanks to everyone for speaking out!! I am 19, and for 2 years after losing my virginity had a normal sex life. I am now almost 20, and haven't had sex in 2 years =( It is affecting my life beyond belief; I haven't had a boyfriend in over a year, as after past experiences of 'hitting the brick wall' I have been too afraid to allow myself to become intimate with someone for fear of it happening again. All I want is normal life with a healthy relationship, It has recently been getting me really down. I shall be visiting the Doctor Monday morning!!
Have been with my partner for over 3 years and everything was fine till a couple of months ago. Whenever we try I get a small tear on the lower outer edge and also pain on the right just inside. As this keeps happening I expect pain and tense up making sex impossible. Having been to my GP in the past with other non related things and fobbed off I don't think they would pay much attention.
I agree, I have primary vaginismus too, went to the doctors once but just got told would sort its self out, havn't been back! Can you get the vaginal dilators from the internet?
Yes you can get them off the internet. It is more expensive but much quicker than waiting for an NHS appointment to be given them. I ordered mine from vaginismus.com, at least I think thats what it is. If you google it comes up and they were delivered relatively quickly. They also have a forum where you can talk to other girls,ladies and women with same problem. It is really supportive and everyone encourages each other.
I've never really known what was wrong with me until I read this page, so firstly a big thank you to everyone brave enough to put their comments out there. I'm 23 years old and have suffered with this since I lost my virginity at 17 - every time has been very painful, though intercourse has never been impossible. It's taken over my life, I have been single for 4 years now and am terrified of getting involved with anyone - my last boyfriend blamed this condition on our break up. I have no idea what to do, I have been to 3 different doctors, been examined, had a smear test, I even went to a counsellor who referred me back to my doctor. No one wanted to help me and I was always being fobbed off. I feel like I've lost too much confidence to go back again and try to sort this, but at least I know I'm not alone. Does anyone know if this condition can ever be treated and if so, how long this might take?
Hi I went tot he doctors last August and explained I was concerned because I couldnt have a smear test or penetrative sex. She said I had vaginismum. She gave me information of the relate charity (type it in google and it comes up), but I also looked at private therapy-I found them by the BASRT website (again google it)-and it was the best thing I have ever done in my life and money well spent-it wasnt that expensive. Id advise anyone to go for it!!
I was diagnosed with vaginismus in september last year after 4 years of hell trying to pretend it wasn't happening. I would expect pain so completely clamp up. My whole body would tremble i was so tight. I hadn't had any trauma per say, I was just so nervous and shy. My doctor was fantastic and refered me to a psychosexual GP. I was given vaginal dilators and breathing techniques - try blowing out as if you were blowing on a candle but trying to not blow out the flame... slow and with a soft mouth. It has changed my life, within 4 months i was having full penitrative sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I recomend anyone speaking to your doctor and getting the help. I cried alot on my first few sessions but its worth the embarrassment to get it sorted. Its the best thing I have ever done!
I have suffered from painful intercourse since i became sexually active (12 years). I've been to the doctors several times but they don't seem to be interested in offering any help, in fact one female doctor advised that i have a glass of wine and 2 paracetamol before attempting sex!! I've now given up with medical advice and i'm going to invest in a set of vaginal dialators. Luckily i have an amazingly supportive husband but i feel like i'm a freak.... Thank you to everyone on this site for sharing their experiences - it makes me realise i'm not alone.
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