Conditions
Vaginismus
Vaginismus is a psychological condition that manifests itself physically, when the muscles around the vagina contract and spasm against a woman’s will. This usually occurs in response to the vagina or vulva being touched. But it can also happen during the attempted insertion of the penis into the vagina during sexual intercourse, which can be quite painful. Many vaginismus sufferers and their partners describe attempting penetrative sex as like “hitting a brick wall”. It’s these difficulties, which can disrupt a couple’s sex life and often lead to the cessation of any penetrative sexual activity, which can create relationship problems. However, it is untrue that women with this condition do not like or want sex, because many sufferers continue to enjoy non-penetrative intimacy. There are many different causes of this condition, although the reason depends on the individual person. Treatment will ultimately depend on whether the root cause can be identified.
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aaah this is a nightmare !! I am 18. I have been having great, normal sex for 2 years and now all of a sudden I'm hit with this !! 10 months I have been suffering from this. My gp looked at me like I was talking another language and refered me to Relate (really good by the way guys !!!) however after a while they said they weren't quite right for me. I am petrified of examinations but I fear it is my only way. My family Planning clinc has suggested this is the only way. its easy for them to say "just face your fear" but it's the biggest fear I have. After 10 months I don't think I can take any more - perhaps it is time for me to shut my eyes and go to the Gyno's :( !!!
I am a 36 year old women with 3 children through natural child birth. Since the birth of my 3 child in 2005 i am aware i have some small prolaspe when i cough, but what does worry me when i have my bowels open i bleed bright red blood from my vagina, i am not constipated. I am to scared to go to the doctors please advice
I'm so glad other people have this problem! I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year and only since October last year I've been having trouble with sex, it's impossible to have! I can't even use tampons because my vagina just seems to reject visitors.. Seeing a doctor about it next week though, I just want to be a normal girlfriend and have a normal relationship
why is it when i try and have sex it is impossible for me to enjoy because it is so painful? this has been going on for round about 5 years now i have been to my gp they sent me for key hole surgry but could not find any thing every time i go back now they just turn me away saying theres nothing els we can do.
Hi Leah. I have been having alot of pain in my hips, and pain on intercourse for the last 3 and a half years. I had an xray on my hips, and was told nothing was wrong and that I needed to do more excercise. It turns out that i had pelvic inflammatory disease (P.I.D), which was what was hurting me internally aswell. I was given a 9 week course of anti-biotics to kill this, but was then left with edometriosis, which was diagnosed by key hole surgery (a camera put inside me). I have been told that there is no cure for this, and the only way for me to stop the pain is to take a hormonal pill ('the pill'). I have also been told that due to the endometriosis, my right fallopian tube is completely blocked, and my left one isnt much better. So there for, lowers my chance of having children, and highers my chance of an ectopic pregnancy. Im only 22 years old!!! My advice to you, is to keep going back to the doctors, and ask to see another gyno. I wish I had sorted my problem out before, because maybe my body wouldnt be in the state it is in now!!! Dont let them fob you off. If you are experiencing pain, then its not right. I have learnt that you should never experience pain during intercourse!!!! Ask them if it could be something like P.I.D? Good luck, and I hope you get it sorted! Tina.
thank tou tina 4 ur reply i am 20 years old and have a 1 year old baby girl so i assume that there is nothing wrong with me having kids (touch wood)! i will mension this to my doctors and see what they say it just annoys me that they get payed loads of money for them to turn people away thanks again leah x
I'm 20 and have been with my boyfriend for about 18 months now. I hadn't had sex before we started going out, and wasn't able to insert anything - not a tampon, finger, nothing. That gradually improved as I learnt to relax more, but sex still wasn't happening - I'd end up bleeding and crying with pain whenever we tried. I went to a GUM clinic, but the Dr wasn't very helpful - she gave me a dilator-type instrument which I have been practising with, but never mentioned "vaginismus", just said I'd get used to sex eventually. I have improved somewhat now, and me and my boyfriend have technically managed to have sex twice (although it was quite painful), but the last time was a couple of months ago and I seem to have tensed up again since. It's extremely painful, and has had quite an impact on me emotionally, but we still have a good sex life without penetration - it's not a case of me not enjoying being intimate or wanting sex - quite the opposite, which is why it's so frustrating! I haven't been diagnosed but I guess it sounds like I have vaginismus. It feels so frustrating when my friends talk about their stress-free sex-lives, so it's a relief to hear that I'm not alone with this. Don't give up - I am making progress, so it is possible!
I cant believe what im reading I thought i was the only one who had this problem!I felt like a freak I have been married for nearly 3 years and we have not had sex for all the time we have been married plus a long time b4 we did get married my husband is great but i feel like im a rubbish wife.We have had sex when we started going out but i had a trauma the first time we had sex and i think that has made me scared it would hapen again so now i just tense up and we have to give up its so frustrating as we are ready to have a baby but i feel like we will never be able to have one,it feels like everyone around me are having babies and i feel presure from friends and family that they are thinking we should be having a baby by now but i cant tell anyone about this,i have been ignoring the problem and thinking that when we decided to have a baby it would go away but it hasn't.I think it's time to go to the doctors although that doesn't sound like its going to be easy ready other comments but ill give it a go!Just wanted to say thank you to everyone else for posting comments they helped me to see im not alone!Sorry for the long post but it seems to help to vent! Thanks for listening/reading.
Hi there, I added a comment previously saying how I had lost too much confidence to go back to a Doctor to sort my condition - I took courage from all of your comments and booked an appointment - I saw a different GP today and basically broke down - she was horrified that no one has taken me seriously and that for 5 years now I have gone untreated - she is now in the process of referring me to a psycho-sexual therapist who will help me, don't give up even if it's embarrasing - 4 GP's and 5 years later and I'm finally being taken seriously. I may post a few more comments with updates on how I'm doing in the hope that it will encourage other women to seek help with this.
I actually laughed with relief when I read this, big thanks to everyone for speaking out!! I am 19, and for 2 years after losing my virginity had a normal sex life. I am now almost 20, and haven't had sex in 2 years =( It is affecting my life beyond belief; I haven't had a boyfriend in over a year, as after past experiences of 'hitting the brick wall' I have been too afraid to allow myself to become intimate with someone for fear of it happening again. All I want is normal life with a healthy relationship, It has recently been getting me really down. I shall be visiting the Doctor Monday morning!!
Have been with my partner for over 3 years and everything was fine till a couple of months ago. Whenever we try I get a small tear on the lower outer edge and also pain on the right just inside. As this keeps happening I expect pain and tense up making sex impossible. Having been to my GP in the past with other non related things and fobbed off I don't think they would pay much attention.
I agree, I have primary vaginismus too, went to the doctors once but just got told would sort its self out, havn't been back! Can you get the vaginal dilators from the internet?
Yes you can get them off the internet. It is more expensive but much quicker than waiting for an NHS appointment to be given them. I ordered mine from vaginismus.com, at least I think thats what it is. If you google it comes up and they were delivered relatively quickly. They also have a forum where you can talk to other girls,ladies and women with same problem. It is really supportive and everyone encourages each other.
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