Embarrassing Illnesses At The Movies
However cringeworthy your condition, you can guarantee there’s nothing so embarrassing that it hasn’t played a starring role on the big or small screen. Whether it’s been presented sympathetically or played for cheap giggles is another story – but they do say laughter is the best medicine. Welcome to an unscientific pick of the top five most Embarrassing On-Screen Illnesses…
EXPLOSIVE DIARRHOEA
FEATURED IN: DUMB AND DUMBER (1994)
It ain’t exactly Shakespearean tragedy, but perhaps the dark, pebble-dashed revenge enacted on dumb Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels) by dumber Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) will serve as a cautionary tale. The lesson worth learning: never betray a mate for a woman, especially if he has easy access to a can labelled “Turbo Lax… for fast and safe relief.”
Incredibly, that’s not the most highly-strung piece of digestive misrule to hit our screens. That honour goes to an episode of perennial student fave The Young Ones, when Rik (Rik Mayall) has a major hissy fit and attempts a comically over-wrought suicide using what he doesn’t realise are in fact laxative pills. As hippy flatmate Neil (Nigel Planer) queries: “uh, can you, like, actually kill yourself with laxative pills?” (Off-screen, unfortunately, the answer is yes, so if you’re unlucky enough to overdose on laxatives, seek medical help straightaway.)
PREMATURE EJACULATION
FEATURED IN: AMERICAN PIE (1999)
When Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs) secretly videotapes naked foreign-exchange student Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) for broadcast to his Internet buddies, karma steps in. Rather than shooting a hottie for instant upload Jim ends up instantly shooting his own hot load, becoming premature ejaculation’s latest casualty – in front of all his friends. As one viewer puts it, “god bless the internet.”
Coming too quick is one of the most common of all sexual dysfunctions – in a survey of thousands of British blokes, roughly 10 per cent admitted sometimes having this problem. American research reports average lasting time of men who ejaculate prematurely as 1.8 minutes, while ‘normal’ chaps lasted an average of 7.3 minutes. Luckily, it’s a treatable problem that in any case tends, like fine wine, to improve with age. In less serious cases, while mild local anaesthetic gels can help prolong sex, they also dull sensation for the woman, so instead we’d recommend special ‘long love’ condoms, which have the anaesthetic gel on the inside only, meaning it still feels the same for ladies.
SYPHILLIS
FEATURED IN: SCRUBS, ‘MY COLD SHOWER’ (2007)
Dealing with the double whammy of the geriatric booty call and a nasty STD, Scrubs demonstrates exactly why (1) safe sex matters, no matter how long ago you registered for a free bus pass and (2) why syphilis is called “the great imitator.” When a sweet old lady and gent from a nearby rest-home turn up presenting a colourful array of symptoms, Carla (Judy Reyes) and Elliott (Sarah Chalke) are stumped, testing for every disease under the sun, before the appropriately named Doctor Cox (John C McGinley) steps in to solve the riddle, reminding everyone: “When people get old there are certain things they are no longer able to do, like drive a car over 20mph or smell like the living, but the one thing they sure can do is have sex until they croak.”
Syphilis is an STD known for its huge range of possible symptoms, including fever, swollen lymph glands, sore throat, patchy hair loss, headaches, weight loss, muscle aches, fatigue, difficulty coordinating muscle movements, paralysis, numbness, gradual blindness, and dementia. In other words, plenty of factors associated with growing old. While syphilis is easily treated if identified during the first year of infection, it can kill if left untreated. None of which stops Scrubs’ resident jock surgeon Todd responding by turning up in a t-shirt bearing the legend “GILF.”
HEAD LICE
FEATURED IN: SOUTH PARK, ‘LICE CAPADES’ (2007)
Between references to everything from The Day After Tomorrow to The Thing, and coming to a happy ending in the warm haven of Angelina Jolie’s pubic hair, this typically crude-but-smart episode presents a pretty accurate depiction of a lice outbreak at an elementary school. Leaving aside the presentation of society in microcosm via a colony of lice on a lice-infested head, that is.
School teacher Mr Garrison’s refusal to name the infected child when he warns his class of a lice outbreak however, may ring distant bells of childhood trauma, as the kids begin a witchhunt to find the Unclean One. True to life, it turns out pretty much every child has headlice, even witchhunter general, Cartman. Of course, nits aren’t a sign of bad hygiene, and are easily treated with insecticide shampoo and wet combing, but no self-respecting eight-year old ever let the facts get in the way of a good bullying.
PSORIASIS
FEATURED IN: THE SINGING DETECTIVE (1986)
Although around one in fifty people will suffer from this itchy, flaky, inflammatory skin condition at some point, its depiction on-screen remains rare. The Singing Detective’s Philip E Marlow (Michael Gambon) suffers to an unusual degree, resembling a sun-dried tomato more than he does an aging author, covered as he is head-to-toe in painful sores.
Despite its potentially unsavoury appearance, psoriasis is not infectious and has nothing to do with personal hygiene. Although series’ creator Dennis Potter himself had psoriasis and arthritis, the presentation of Philip E Marlow’s experience is extreme. In most cases treatment is non-invasive and can include cortisone cream, vitamin D cream, light treatments, antibiotics by mouth, antihistamines, topical tar preparations, moisturisers and even chemotherapy such as methotrexate. Someone should really inform Freddy Kreuger.
You can share your experiences and thoughts with other Embarrassing Bodies site-users below. Comments are reviewed before they are published.
Please note: Unfortunately Channel 4 cannot respond to individual inquiries. If you have any concerns, you can check out the Channel 4 Health site or NHS Choices, but ultimately it is always best to check with a health professional.
hiya i am 16 and i have a bit of a querie. when i was younge i had a stangulated hernia which has left me with only 1 testicle. i would like to know whether this would affect my sexual performance, and it also makes me feel very embarrassed when i get changed infront of my girlfriend (as i havnt told her yet) or in a public place. i also had a tight foreskin as a child so underwent an operation that was supposed to loosen it. however it has not loosened at all and i cannot pull the top of my foreskin over any part of my penis, will this also affect my sexual performance…....what do you reckomend i do about both of my problems…thanks alot ;)
hi my partner is suffering with stomach pain,when he thinks about food he fills sick,when he goes for a number 2 its a green/yellow colour, this morning he said he felt like he had a hangover but he hasn't had any alchol, he is worried that this could be his kidneys or liver because he drinks every night, could you please help?
Hiya.
Every so often I get theses shooting pain going from my abdominal area going down to my pelvis area. It that painful that I end up keeling over, and it last up to 5-10 minutes.
Just wondering if you would know what this could be or how to sort it out.
Thank you
hi i have noticed a red mark on the top of my arm with a white ring around, i have had it for a couple of months now and it wont go away should i be worried???
i have had an object stuck in my vagina for 9 months now and it is makeing an awful smell am 16 and i'm too embbarassd too tell parants this isnt a joke
I am 22 and married and would like to start a family. I found out i had pcos when I was 19 doctor told me I had it but didnt do anything about it got admitted to hospital for abdomanal pain after release saw gynocoligist who put me on metformin but have found out I have diabetes and cant take as many metformin as they said as thats what im taking for diabetes also i have hair on my face neck and chest which doctors say cant do anything for pls help.
I am a 51 year old female. I have a hiatus hernia which I have had two operations on, the ops have been unsuccessful. I have now got to have another op where they are going to attach my stomach to my abdomen. I have suffered with constipation for quite a few years, A couple of weks ago i started getting an itch down in the virgina area, this got so bad that i was making myself bleed, I went to the nurse who said it sounded like thrush and gave me cream and pesseries, the cream started to burn I went back to the doctors this time and explained that i had got the same symptons but also had blisters now. She gave me a course of antibiotics I started to take them. but I then starte to fill quite ill so i cut them down. For years I have suffered with constipation, even whn I have been on antibiotics befor, but nowevery time I eat I have loose stools, I feel sick, Pain in my groin, lower back pain, cant drink tea or coffee even tap water is leaving a taste in my mouth. I can only drink bottled water. I am worried as i went on the internet and some of the signs are related to overian cancer
Hey, basically, i have very small hard lumps on the tip of my penis which i've head for several years. They don't hurt whatsoever, but they aren't exactly attractive. I've looked this up but and what i've found is that it MIGHT be swollen glands, though i'm still not entirely sure. Please help!
-J
hello
im 17 and i have these tiny little red dots all over my arms. they are also dry and bumpy, bit like when u have goosebumps.
can u help me?
Hi. I'm 16 and i have different sized breasts. one is about a/b cup and the other is a d. it's really getting my down and it makes me really self concious even more with summer coming up
Important Notice
The information provided on this website (including any NHS Choices medical information) is for use as information or for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical care by a qualified doctor or other qualified healthcare professional. We do not warrant that any information included within this site will meet your health or medical requirements. This Embarrassing Bodies site does not provide any medical or diagnostic services so you should always check with a health professional if you have any concerns about your health.
If you want to embed our videos in your site, read our embedding T&Cs here
