Dr Pixie V/O: Christopher Stables is looking forward to marrying his girlfriend Deborah, but with only weeks to go, he’s worried that an embarrassing problem could ruin their wedding night. For four frustrating years he’s experienced excruciating pain every time he’s tried to have sex, owing to a mysterious condition effecting his penis. Keen to find a solution, Christopher has booked an appointment with Dr Jessen.
Dr Christian: Have a seat for me.
Dr Christian: Right, tell me what’s going on with you.
Christopher: I’ve had problems having intercourse for some time now and I’ve had incredibly severe pain in my penis and I’ve also had bleeding from it as well so intercourse is out of the question, masturbation is out of the question, it’s really hindering my pleasures in life.
Dr Christian: I want you to retract the foreskin and show me what the problem is. I can see, you know, these great fissures of raw open tissue which is why it’s so sore, I mean it looks awful, I’m not surprised you’re totally unable to have sex, I mean I don’t know how you even start, If you compare it to this skin, this looks all healthy and normal, and this is really bright red and sore. I’m sorry for you basically, it’s a nasty condition, and I think we can do something about it, and I think it’ll, in time, smarten up itself up, tidy up, heal up and look a whole lot nicer and be a lot less painful.
Dr Christian: What I’ll think we’ll do is refer you off to a surgeon to have that tidied up.
Dr Pixie V/O: Christopher Stables is hoping his wedding night will be memorable for all the right reasons, he’s having a chemically induced erection to see whether circumcision could be the answer to his penis problems. If you’re squeamish, look away now.
Christopher: That is very painful, very, very painful.
Dr Pixie V/O: Now it’s just a matter of waiting to see what comes up.
Christopher: There’s nothing happening as yet. We have a bit of progress.
Doctor/Nurse 1: Oh good, excellent. There is definitely some erection there.
Doctor/Nurse 2: Oh that’s pretty good, the skin isn’t tight, and the skin isn’t the problem, and that skin isn’t tight.
Dr Pixie V/O: After a thorough inspection it appears that circumcision won’t be required, and that Chris’s problem is the result of a skin complaint. He visit a specialist dermatologist for further tests, but in the meantime he’s been abstaining from sex and has come to show Christian the results.
Dr Christian: Tell me where we’re up to now.
Christopher: If you were to look at it today you would honestly say that it’s probably as close to being right as it’ll ever be.
Dr Christian: Gosh, well that’s a difference isn’t it? It’s gone, it has, it’s completely gone. When I first saw it, it was wet, red, angry looking, there were sort of cracks and fissures in it weren’t there? It looked very painful.
Christopher: And it had been bleeding.
Dr Christian: This is a normal penis now, nothing wrong with the skin, it’s almost a joy to look at now compared to before isn’t it? I’m wondering if perhaps a very, very simple answer to all this is that you wear condoms? Because sex is quite traumatic, which if you’ve got a sensitive penis, which you have clearly, it’s going to give it a harrying, it’s going to make you suffer. Wearing a condom I think it’d be well worth you trying, in fact I 100% recommend that.
Christopher: It’s never been suggested before but I’ll certainly try it, I’ll give anything a try.
Dr Christian: If now the dermatologist can sort him out and using condoms sorts him out then there’s light at the end of the tunnel for him, and I think he’s going to be so much happier.
Consultation: Soreness on the Penis
Dr Christian Jessen diagnoses a patient complaining of irritation and soreness on his penis in this consultation from the first series of Embarrassing Illnesses. At the same time Dr Jessen gives out some advice on STDs and the perils of unsafe sex.
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